The Struggle is Real
I often wonder what I could have done with all of that time that I lost chasing my fantasies. I even managed to collect most of the watches that I lusted after beginning in my c***dhood. It's not the same though. I'm tired of giving in to these urges to act out silly fantasies that make no sense at all. I mean, having someone masturbate me with their watch until I cum all over it, how does someone think of something so strange? I guess the "why" isn't important now.
I've been through this a million times, and it has taken its toll on my relationships. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone because of this "thing." Lusting for an anonymous encounter with someone and their watch is hard to resist. The odds of finding someone who is into the exact same thing is slim to none, and I'm fine with that. I'm not willing to risk putting myself in danger or trouble.
Reality sets in, showing me that it's just not going to happen. I have a difficult time connecting with people, even on the Internet! I wish I could just push these thoughts to the back of my mind and spend time doing things that are more enjoyable or productive. I know I will slip up every once in a while because things don't change overnight; still I desire to have a healthy and normal sex life. I don't want to have to resort to using a fetish object to arouse me anymore.