The first time my wife went astray....

Well, technically I was the first to stray.
After a 20 plus year marriage though we’re the best of friends and have a deep resounding love for one another, we never really had what one would call a healthy sex life.
Aside from our likes differing, we just never had that thing so often much of our sex was quite ordinary at best.
I lived within this 20 year capsule quite faithful, even though I too have intimacy issues and perhaps didn’t grow up with the healthiest view of sex.
You see, my mother was a textbook Narcissist and my Dad was her enabler who had an unhealthy addiction to porn (think walls of VHS)....it’s why I still prefer natural, thanks to 70s/80s porn.
About 5 years ago, I started getting restless. I’ve always had a high sex drive and different interests. Though I was conflicted I strayed first.
I tried to juggle the life of being a husband, a father and feeding my need, but it all kind of crashed just a few short weeks ago...I got caught.
Though it was a hard moment to own up to my actions, it was a blessing in disguise. It made my wife and I discuss the elephant in the room we managed to neglect for so long.
I mentioned an open marriage after we talked as we both tend to see a strong separation between sex and love and after some talking through, we both agreed.
We set up a general set of rules and boundaries, though it’s hard going against everything we’ve been taught and told what’s right.
The things that make my lusts pulse aren’t rooted in love...it’s primal, a****listic, rough, sweaty and just outright nasty and that may not align with my wife’s, but that’s ok.
We’re both open minded enough and when all is said and done, I know she’ll come home to me and me to her.
So tonight I’m letting my wife go to pursue her pleasures and im ok with that.
After all, it’s just sex....