Taking Time Off
Greetings xhamster friends,
The time came yesterday December 8 2020 when my wife said she can’t abide being married to a guy who looks at porn and gave me an ultimatum. I don’t mean to paint her badly, but I don’t see how not to in this case, because I think she is just being silly, except she’s dead serious.
My closest xhamster friends all know I had a huge affair for a long time – hell, anybody who cares and can read may have seen the multiple posts I have written about it. When I told my wife about my lover in 2016, she was more upset than I was expecting (yes, I’m an idiot, what was I thinking would happen, etc). So we went to a lot of effort to repair all that and move forward. We’ve been doing a pretty good job in my opinion. I ended the affair and agreed to not have sex with anybody else as long as we were married. She struggles sometimes, and I miss my lover, but it was the decision I had to make to stay together with my wife.
My infidelity was a conscious, intentional choice I made, but it did not come out of thin air or result from some kind of odd psychological abnormality. As a result, I required her to agree to a number of things that were showstoppers for me, since I firmly believed that was what got us into this mess in the first place. She hates that but agreed. We have continued to move forward for 4 years.
I thought things were going really well until she tells me yesterday that she is adding “no porn” to the list of non-negotiables. I think that’s pretty unsportsmanlike, I mean, I did give up having any kind of sex in any way with other people. But then, I would probably draw fire for using the word “unsportsmanlike” in this context. I get that. Deep down inside I’m part asshole.
Aren’t we all, really? It’s not like this is a surprise to anyone, and she married the asshole along with the hero.
We have a lot at stake, so I can’t just tell her she’s nuts and move out. At 62 years old, there are a lot of reasons why walking away from nearly 30 years of marriage is not my first choice. She’s a great gal but she’s got some strange ideas. I’m okay with maybe slowing down a little. At this point I’m optimistic we can navigate it.
She says she thinks it’s possible porn is having a negative effect on our marriage. Whereas I don’t share her opinion, I also don’t deny that possibility. The plain reality is we don’t know, and it may be possible to find out. So I suggested we learn more before she does anything rash. We decided I would take time off, we would collect detailed data, and we would analyze the data to see what we could learn, and I offered to do it with the help of a trained professional.
So to make the long story short, I will be taking at least 4 months off from xhamster et al. I’m not going to deactivate my account quite yet. Thanks in advance for the well-wishes some of you may express. Keep the candle burning.
It’s au revoir not adieu.
Joe
I am not opening this thread for comments. Thanks in advance for kind words, but I’m not interested in less-than-kind ones.
The time came yesterday December 8 2020 when my wife said she can’t abide being married to a guy who looks at porn and gave me an ultimatum. I don’t mean to paint her badly, but I don’t see how not to in this case, because I think she is just being silly, except she’s dead serious.
My closest xhamster friends all know I had a huge affair for a long time – hell, anybody who cares and can read may have seen the multiple posts I have written about it. When I told my wife about my lover in 2016, she was more upset than I was expecting (yes, I’m an idiot, what was I thinking would happen, etc). So we went to a lot of effort to repair all that and move forward. We’ve been doing a pretty good job in my opinion. I ended the affair and agreed to not have sex with anybody else as long as we were married. She struggles sometimes, and I miss my lover, but it was the decision I had to make to stay together with my wife.
My infidelity was a conscious, intentional choice I made, but it did not come out of thin air or result from some kind of odd psychological abnormality. As a result, I required her to agree to a number of things that were showstoppers for me, since I firmly believed that was what got us into this mess in the first place. She hates that but agreed. We have continued to move forward for 4 years.
I thought things were going really well until she tells me yesterday that she is adding “no porn” to the list of non-negotiables. I think that’s pretty unsportsmanlike, I mean, I did give up having any kind of sex in any way with other people. But then, I would probably draw fire for using the word “unsportsmanlike” in this context. I get that. Deep down inside I’m part asshole.
Aren’t we all, really? It’s not like this is a surprise to anyone, and she married the asshole along with the hero.
We have a lot at stake, so I can’t just tell her she’s nuts and move out. At 62 years old, there are a lot of reasons why walking away from nearly 30 years of marriage is not my first choice. She’s a great gal but she’s got some strange ideas. I’m okay with maybe slowing down a little. At this point I’m optimistic we can navigate it.
She says she thinks it’s possible porn is having a negative effect on our marriage. Whereas I don’t share her opinion, I also don’t deny that possibility. The plain reality is we don’t know, and it may be possible to find out. So I suggested we learn more before she does anything rash. We decided I would take time off, we would collect detailed data, and we would analyze the data to see what we could learn, and I offered to do it with the help of a trained professional.
So to make the long story short, I will be taking at least 4 months off from xhamster et al. I’m not going to deactivate my account quite yet. Thanks in advance for the well-wishes some of you may express. Keep the candle burning.
It’s au revoir not adieu.
Joe
I am not opening this thread for comments. Thanks in advance for kind words, but I’m not interested in less-than-kind ones.
5 years ago
